Long ago, in the ancient land of Lawrenceville, and unholy tribe of pagans used their most wicked black magic to bring into the world the embodiment of pure evil. Sewn from the softest of clothes and filled with the most plush stuffing imaginable, this perversion of our lord and savior was imbued with the powers of utter darkness and destruction. He now sits in the tallest tower of an ancient cathedral extending its darkness across the land. Upon a single table, draped in an unadorned white cloth, with a blood-stained crucifix on either side there he sits...Creepy Jesus.

you gaze upon him something's feeling queer
he'll probe your mind and find your deepest fears
take everything you love and boast about it in your ear
in your ear
his vengeance falls like rain from the skies
god can't stop him and you know that he still tries
run 'round the world but you can't escape those eyes
those eyes

empires crumble and rulers fall
your loved one's blood smeared upon the wall
plague and famine upon mankind
he'll steal your soul and he'll make you long to die

(Creepy Jesus)
he'll lure you in with that big fake smile
(Creepy Jesus)
he's had your death planned all the while
(Creepy Jesus)
he wreaks destruction just because he can
(Creepy Jesus)
and he knows one day he'll bring about the fall of man

he'll make you question everything you know
his deeds thrust shame on the man down below
his victims line the earth like sardines all packed in a row
his evil blackens the sun and the stars
no other psychopath could hope to come this far
his body plush as his boner for evil is hard
it's so hard

empires crumble and rulers fall
your loved one's blood smeared upon the wall
famine and plague upon mankind
he'll steal your soul and he'll make you long to die

(Creepy Jesus)
he'll lure you in with that big fake smile
(Creepy Jesus)
he's had your death planned all the while
(Creepy Jesus)
he wreaks destruction just because he can
(Creepy Jesus)
and he knows one day he'll bring about the fall of man