The Confident Pants

by The Cupcake Conquistadors

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released January 27, 2015

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The Cupcake Conquistadors Athens, Georgia

Courtland H.
&
Chris P.

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Track Name: Man Stuff
Man stuff
Man stuff
Anything else would've felt so weak
Anything else wouldn't be so sweet

Truck balls
Truck balls
Anything else would've felt so weak
Anything else wouldn't be so sweet
Track Name: Jungle Justice
I was on a never ending river
the air was muggy and the sun was low
and as I cut her prow around the corner
I saw a place where I could rest my bones
my limbs were weary I had lost my bearings
I wandered off of every map I know
that's when I saw that mysterious lady
and what happened next I do not know

I awakened in a ring of fire
then I took some of her magic root
and I embarked upon and inward journey
she said "I'm gonna help you find the truth"
then I traveled for ages uncounted
between our spirits and across the stars
through the psyche and darkness uncharted
I saw the wisdom in the way things are

I been to the top of the mountain
but there was no great secret waiting there for me

(jungle justice) I've been through the darkness and back out the other side
(jungle justice) you can beat back the beast but he's still there biding his time
(jungle justice)
and even in this concrete jungle
the beast can go by many names
he rears his ugly head and roars
despite your vain attempts to keep him tame

and in that moment both my eyes were opened
the dream unraveled and it came undone
the nations of man were laid out before me
I was the devil and the tempted son
the illusion melted all around me
pulled back the curtain it was just a man
not a puppet of angels or demons
not a puppet in a higher plan

I been to the top of the mountain
but there was no great secret waiting there for me

(jungle justice) I've been through the darkness and back out the other side
(jungle justice) you can beat back the beast but he's still there biding his time
(jungle justice)
and even in this concrete jungle
the beast can go by many names
he rears his ugly head and roars
despite your vain attempts to keep him tame
Track Name: Buzzin' Around You
Honey I’m buzzin
I’m buzzin all around you
Yeah honey I’m buzzin
Cuz of all of those sweet things you do
And it’s a ripe and balmy Friday
And I sure would like to see you

I’m buzzin
You make me feel so alive
Yeah I’m buzzin
Your fragrance has got me so high
And I don’t know if I can take much more
Or I won’t be able to drive

I think you got me
You’ve got me reelin every day
Yeah you really got me buzzin
You’ve got the most peculiar way
So when I come and knock on your door
I hope you’ll come out and play
Track Name: Rollin' Town & Country
Crispy-J:
this is a PSA with your host Crispy-J
take out a pencil and some paper take some notes today
do you try hustlin' but caught each time you disobey
do you try runnin' from the cops but you can't get away
if I'm describing you, you better heed this
take a trip to your local car dealership
pick out a mini van, any color that you like
drop a down payment sign on the dotted line
before you protest just take a seat and hear me out
feel that quality leather and let it ease your doubts
you can hide your stash with all the extra storage in the floors
and keep your trigger hand free with automatic doors
and if you meet some bitches and you wanna take them home
make extra room with the fold out third row
built in GPS so you can find they address
if they get bored there's little tv's in the headrests
the best part is when I'm runnin' from the po-po
I'm going google chrome, incognito
they look for fast rollers, sports cars, lamborghinis
I'm doin' 90 on the freeway they don't even see me
because I'm blending in, Ezio, chameleon
they'll never find out all the dope shit I be stealin'
drunk and swervin' down both sides of the street
all my murder victims stretched out in the back seat

(rollin' town and country) I am the terror that strikes in the night
(rollin' town and country) the best place to hide is right in plain sight
(rollin' town and country) they capture all the rest and they don't get no fight
(rollin' town and country)but I'm the perp they've been trying to catch all night


Hy-C:
Yeah I’m with Crispy J
We in the mini van
Ask if we got some weed
We got plenty man
Just ground up a pound
You oughta see the pile
We rollin like Italian dinner, family style
That extra cheese, got that special sauce
Got that original upholstery cuz I’m a boss
You know we rollin slow and
Smoking dope and blowin o’s
Them pigs, they tried to get us
But they ain’t even close
We’ve got the skill
We know the hype’s absurd
We know we’re hot and rude, boy
Like spicy jerk
Coppers they think they poppin
Spittin fighting words
But they gon be spittin teeth
When they bite the curb
I’ve got the groove
Crispy got the spunk
Hey baby let me come and
Drop me load up in your trunk
Getting BJ’s in PJ’s, we droppin bombs
Me and Crispy J
Rollin with some soccer moms

Crispy-J:
but I still hear when all the motherfuckin' haters say
"you think it's gangsta rollin' town and country Crispy-J?"
well I'm still livin' free they locked your sorry ass away
so we can put my little theory to the test today
I live the town and country life I'm on the free way
I roll with all the single milfs at the soccer games
but is it gangsta if your room is only six by eight
if boys in county help themselves like you a buffet
and is it gangsta every meal eatin' state slop
and spendin' every lonely night in that tiny cot
or would you rather be like me and eat filet mignon
and in the king size every night makin' things hot
and now we're comin' to the end of this dialogue
I hope you think about the town and country life dog
or you'll be locked away, and gettin' antsy
while I go stealth mode Tom Clancy

(rollin' town and country) like it's 2001 you know I keep it real
(rollin' town and country) I'm elusive like a ghost and now you all know my deal
(rollin' town and country) they think I'm just a mom out about in her wheels
(rollin' town and country) with just a van full of kids eatin' happy meals
Track Name: Danny Dyer and His Chocolate Homunculus
here comes Danny Dyer and his chocolate homonculus
skipping down a rainbow bridge flinging handfuls of peace and love
and here comes Danny Dyer with the flower folk in tow
just take a hit, make a magic wish and away we all shall go

come brothers and sister, come daughters and sons
the winds of change are blowing and they can smell the change on us
I'll meet you down on the river bank, we'll take of our pants and shirts
and we'll check out all the naked chicks---we''ll protect mother earth

here comes Danny Dyer and his chocolate homonculus
skipping down a rainbow bridge flinging handfuls of peace and love
and here comes Danny Dyer with the flower folk in tow
just take a hit, make a magic wish and away we all shall go

peace and love and flowers brotherhood and caring
hey my friend with the drug stash, would you kindly get to sharing
can you believe these commie fucks give their shit away for free---
peace and love and flowers and love and peace and harmony

here comes Danny Dyer, he's collected all your friends
he calls it opportunity, but they call him The Man
and here comes Danny Dyer, empty words and his guitar
keeping little chocolate hippies in formaldehyde jars
Track Name: Butt Drugs (Pabst)
there's a cry across the heartland
a yearning for the days gone by
and in little old Cordyn, Indianna
they're happy and they'll tell you why

they got Butt Drugs
they love Butt Drugs
Bu-Bu-Bu-Butt Drugs
Bu-Bu-Bu-Butt Drugs

you want hometown service and cheap hot coffee
and liquor now that's the ticket
you can tell Wal-Mart, CVS, and Walgreens
exactly where to stick it

Bu-Bu-Bu-Butt Drugs
Bu-Bu-Bu-Butt Drugs
Bu-Bu-Bu-Butt Drugs
Bu-Bu-Bu-Butt Drugs
Track Name: (Watchin' The) Marigolds Bloom
Sixteen when she left North Dakota
Her poor mother wept, waved goodbye at the door
Six month is all, I’ll be back in the fall
But she never came home anymore

Oh, the honeybees dance ‘round the rosebush
A single bulb flickers in a house meant for two
Now I’m riding the rails and telling tall tales
And watchin the marigolds bloom

He looks out through his bakery window
For 32 years, he’d had money and a son
Now he’s selling his mops and he’s closing up shop
And he won’t call it home anymore

It’s been a year and a half since she left her
A forbidden romance turned love into chore
But when the chapel bell rings and the mockingbird sings
She knows she’s not home anymore

She polishes the marble inscription
And oils the bike that had barely been used
With a tear on her cheek, she walks by the creek
And no one comes home anymore

An immigrant from somewhere in Scotland
He worked in a coal mine along side a crew
By God, they exclaimed, we just can’t place his name
And he doesn’t his name either
Track Name: Benevolent Jelly
I know a girl who steals knobs off people's radios
She's tossing bricks and turning tricks at all the punk shows
She laughs cause I'm behind the trends across the interweb
but it don't bother me cause all Her friends are dope heads

but when She's on the town the city lights are shining down Her time is up the secret's out but it don't mean a thing
it's all the same to me falling from the family tree chomping on the pedigree but it don't mean a thing

I was convinced to sell my songs away for street cred
for always ragging on the thoughts I have in my head
it keeps me up night after night with all the undead
so when it comes to picking out Her faults I pretend

but when She's on the town the city lights are shining down Her time is up the secret's out but it don't mean a thing
it's all the same to me the verdict's in they're going free California Tennessee but it don't mean a thing

Benevolent Jelly!
She's my Benevolent Jelly!

but when She's on the town the city lights are shining down Her time is up the secret's out but it don't mean a thing
it's all the same to me scrounging for some empathy She's 21 I'm 23 but it don't mean a thing
Track Name: Spicy Pimento
Spicy Pimento
Is a quaint and piquant treat
He’s great for lunch and he packs a punch
That’ll knock you off your feet

Spicy Pimento
Is a fairy tale they say
He’s a wholesome meal and the children squealed
When he came to life one day

There must have been some magic in that tupperware we found
We mixed him twice, whipped him up real nice
And he began to dance around

Spicy Pimento
Is the best dish in the house
And the children say he’s A-OK
As they stuff him in their mouths